Man, oh man … the world is festooned with chodes, in the literal sense, of course.
However, in this particular case, I’m referring to horrible PEOPLE, mainly men who are in charge of something or other and have made life miserable for us regular folks, AND a few select infamous/famous men who are such chodes that they have out-choded the other chodes to have earned the coveted title ‘The Chodes of March.’
OF COURSE, women can be chodes, but for the sake of this piece, men and Texas have earned the title with all of the pomp, circumstance, and shit that comes with such an honor.
My list of chodes who are perennial favorites is long (pun) and not surprising to anyone who’s paying attention. Those folks are on every shitty list everywhere because everyone hates them. Perhaps I will write about them at another time, but for this post, I’m gonna focus on the Chode-y-ist of the Chodes.
First and chode
I have no respect for Aaron Rodgers.
None. Zip. Zilch.
He’s one of the worst types of chodes: The sports chode, which means that he’s worshipped by folks who can turn Coors Lite into domestic violence if their team loses.
I don’t give a red rat’s ass that he’s an exceptional athlete—he’s a horrible person. Rodgers is famous for being anti-science and, well, anti-all things based on reality and facts. He constantly barks at anyone who dares to challenge his Joe Rogan wannabe hot takes by spewing out of his Bud Light chute ‘do your own research’ even after being presented with, you know, ACTUAL FUCKING RESEARCH/FACTS. Rodgers was the guy in high school who thought he was hilarious, but in reality, he was a dumbass chump who was great at football. Aaron Rodgers is the type of guy who, IF he sucked at football, would’ve limped through high school and thirty years later would be crowing about his glory days to his coworker during the night shift at the local Gas N’ Sip. You get the idea.
Fast forward to 2024. So, Rodgers, it turns out, is a Sandy Hook denier. Oh, for fuck’s sake, that fucking tracks.
Aaron Rodgers is up there with the Chode MVP, Alex Jones when it comes to being a big bowl of horrible with regards to one of the worst acts of violence in this country EVER.
Rodgers says he believes that Sandy Hook was an inside job by the gubmint and ……… yeah. Oh, and the *best* part? He said this to a JOURNALIST. Sure, he said it in 2013, but his bullshit take has resurfaced because he’s being considered for a very important gig. Maybe, but probably not.
Longshot POTUS candidate and well-known anti-vaxxer, kooky conspiracy theory peddler, liberal chode, and a member of THAT family, Robert F. Kennedy Jr., is seriously considering Rodgers as his VEEP. I shit you not. The job that was held by LBJ, Al Gore, Dick’em Cheney, and Joe Biden, has the slimmest of slim chances of going to Aaron Rodgers (I should note that Jesse Ventura is also on that list—I mean, it makes sense since Ventura WAS the Minnesota Guv once).
The silver lining? Junior’s donors are threatening not to fucking donate another dime should Mr. Cheryl Hines choose Aaron to join him on the ticket. Uhhh..come to think of it, let’s add RFK Jr. to the list of chodes.
NSFTexas
Who knew that Texas would have a problem with age? AND porn? It makes no damn sense. Aren’t newborns given a firearm as soon as they spew forth from the birth canal? The death penalty could be given to Texas toddlers, right? This is why it’s surprising that Texas has blown its load over the lack of age verification on porn sites. Odd, I know since we all know *wink wink* that the more conservative the state usually means more porn watched.
This is why I’m shocked, SHOCKED that Texas has cock-blocked Texans from enjoying the wonderful world of PornHub. What a nasty way to pull out, violate, and deny the fine denizens of Texas their right to exercise their First Amendment rights. Watching some MILF-ON-MILF action, or grannies n’ gardeners or bukake bros, was GUARAN-FUCKING-TEED by our Forefathers.
Pornhub called out the chode-y-ness of Texas for not respecting the beloved First Amendment; adding the Texas age verification will drive users to porn sites that don’t have ANY age-related safety measures. I’m guessing Texas officials already have allll of those sites bookmarked.
I’ve been misspelling chode all these years. No wonder my insults didn’t land.